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renaissance chick

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huh? [Jun. 19th, 2005|08:48 pm]
renaissance chick
[mood |crushedcrushed]
[music |"hey bulldog" - beatles]

can someone explain to me why my 6 year old daughter is yelling: "she shoots...she accessorizes!" (instead of "she shoots...she scores!")

in other news, i played haircut roulette and lost. my hair now actually has some blonde in it. and, somehow, the pictures i showed the person cutting my hair were meaningless, as i now have very short and very light hair. the proudest moment of my day: having BC check me out and say, "mama, this is not your best look."

wonder if anyone will notice when i put a paper bag on my head for the next 6 months...
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Driving Miss Bunny [Jun. 4th, 2005|09:25 pm]
renaissance chick
[mood |lovedmaudlin]
[music |"beautiful life" by ace of base]

BC, my 6.5 year old wonder and recent beneficiary of the tooth fairy, makes me cry. Regularly. Today, we were driving to the craft store and the supermarket. It was a gorgeous day - we coasted down Route 50, singing and laughing.

BC: Mama, I want a Cadillac.

Me: : What, honey?

BC: : Oh, I mean, I want a convertible.

Me: Uh, oh yeah, they can be fun. But you know, I don't know whether they leak, or whether they are hard to open and close...[realizing I have turned into the human killjoy, I relent.] Well, then, maybe they've improved convertibles since I was young.

BC: ::Thinking for a minute:: You know, mama, I'm going to get a convertible.

Me: When you are old enough to buy your own car, you can buy whatever car you'd like, honey.

BC: When I buy my convertible, you can ride in it.

Me: Thanks, honey.

BC: Mama?

Me: Yes?

BC: Don't ever get really old.

Me: I'll do my best. Why honey?

BC: Then we won't be able to get your wheelchair in the car.

Me: ::Trying not to crash the car while my eyes are tearing up::

I really need to grow thicker skin. I'm not going to make it to 45 at this rate without dissolving into a puddle.
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must remember this [May. 18th, 2005|08:27 pm]
renaissance chick
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |mamma mia - kids love abba. someone help me.]

toddlers struggle with control issues. its like there's a huge world out there, and somehow, they cannot make any of it bend to their little cranky whims. hence why "no!" and "get out!" and "stop it!" are currently big faves in jools' vocabulary.

but sometimes, the control issues get out of hand.

jools and i are driving in our usual insane rush to pick up BC and BS at BC's elementary school. suddenly, i hear a happy little voice singing:

jools: "whoa, whoa, whoa your boat, gently down the stream..."
jools: ...
jools: "GET OUT!"

yep. don't let the oars whack you on the ass.
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yep. i'm 40. [Mar. 12th, 2005|08:43 pm]
renaissance chick
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |"bicycle race" by queen]

yesterday, it was my birthday.
i hung one more year on the line.
i should be depressed; my life's a mess.
but i'm having a good time."
paul simon

ok, so really wednesday was my birthday.

i no longer fear telling people my age. perhaps i should know better, but now that BC has told the world, including every child she knows at school, that mama is 40, well, to borrow from rhymin' simon again, "aw, what the hell." but my husband bought me a pearl necklace and earrings (note to self: better impale your formerly-pieced-but-now-closed-up ears); my personal trainer (AKA BC) "got" me resistance bands for my pilates workouts; jools sang happy birthday to me; my parents, inlaws, sibs, aunt, and dear pals sent cards, etc.; the great folks i work with gave me a little afternoon soiree, complete with chocolate-covered strawberries and liquid refreshments; and we bought a car. (a Prius. though that really wasn't for me or for my birthday. it just happened coincidentally that day.) we also went to the cheesecake factory (BC's choice), where mild manner jools helped me stick to my diet by becoming the antichrist in the middle of the restaurant and thus rendering me unable to truly eat a lot because i had to move him away from polite society before a riot broke out among cranky, overweight diners. (always look at the bright side of life. ::whistling::) and, i found a tenner on the sidewalk.

in short, i am loved and i am lucky for it.

some random things i want to remember:

jools trying to sing along to "who are you." BS subsequently editing/bowdlerizing the damn song for fear that our son will be walking around shortly singing, "aw, who the fuck are you??"

BC and jools dancing around to "twist and crawl" with me in the family room.

jools screaming "bicycle!" into the phone and onto my parents' answering machine. (he was imitating freddy mercury. i'm not making this up.)

jools doing a 360 in the air after not realizing he was running into the arm of the sofa. his dismount was perfect -- he grazed his legos table and landed on his feet. i, of course, did what any sensible mother did -- i screamed and made him cry.

BC's parent/teacher conference, in which we learned that our heroine is a great student; is doing work a grade level higher in math (clearly these are not my genes at work); is extremely social (now there's my genetic contribution!); and has decided that when she knows something already, she tells the teacher she doesn't have to do it by saying (and i quote) "i know everything." when the teacher asked her who told her that she knew everything, she replied, "my mommy told me that."

i so did not, little girl.
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Sticking It To DC [Jan. 11th, 2005|08:44 am]
renaissance chick
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

Now the Bush folks have really got me annoyed. They're sticking a bit of the tab for the stupid Inaugural Day (ha! It's 4 days long, actually) festivities to the District of Columbia. The Bush folks are balking at paying, telling DC to use some of their Homeland Security funds. Amusing considering DC voters didn't vote for this guy in the first place.

The balls these Bush folks have. Really.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A64446-2005Jan10.html?nav=hcmodule
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papa's got a brand new bag [Jan. 2nd, 2005|06:52 pm]
renaissance chick
[mood |crazycrazy]

so now, after 15 years of marriage, i see how my insanity has affected my husband. as he put jools into the tub tonight, BS was singing "toys...toys...toys...in the tubby," to the strains of aerosmith's classic.

yep. he's stuck with me now, like it or not.
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father forgive me, for i have sinned. [Dec. 26th, 2004|07:01 pm]
renaissance chick
i made the cardinal error of not checking BC's pants before i put them in the wash. now. now, there is lots of crayon all over the clothes (mine, jools', and hers) and all inside the drum of the dryer. we're trying to get the crayon out of the dryer with WD-40 (as per the crayola site.) WD-40 is highly flammable. while i have great faith in our friends Binney and Smith and the directions from their website, i really, really am praying that things stay safe.
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DISBELIEF [Nov. 3rd, 2004|05:53 am]
renaissance chick
[mood |disappointeddisappointed]
[music |"My City Was Gone" - Pretenders]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE?? ARE THEY COMPLETELY INSANE???



My Masters in Political Science has still not prepared me for this single disappointment.
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oh yes. i'm crying. a lot. [Oct. 31st, 2004|07:54 pm]
renaissance chick
[mood |indescribableindescribable]
[music |"ballet for a rainy day" - XTC]

you never are fully prepared for some of the things that your kids do or say. and when it happens, it hits you in the head, full-on, and travels, like electricity, to your heart.

tonight, i took BC (AKA Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz) and Jools (AKA the not-so-cowardly-but-very-squirmy-lion) trick-or-treating down our street. we only visit the houses we know on our little cul-de-sac, so we don't do quantity. but most of the neighbors are sweet; they invite the kids in, let them pet their dogs, let BC do a twirl or two in her costume, and then proceed to pour pounds of candy into their bags. (we don't get a ton of traffic on our street, so they can afford to throw tons of candy at the street's kids. some of these people buy FULL-SIZED BARS, mind you. it's boggling.) one elderly couple, the hacketts, who moved last year used to create little goody bags with the kids' names on it. i never had this sort of experience growing up, to be sure; but then again, i didn't know any of my neighbors growing up, either, except for the Blakes, the Venticinques, the Emmerts, and, well, that's it for Hilltop Road.

so we were rounding the cul-de-sac corner, headed toward Miss Hattie's house. Miss Hattie lost her husband, Bob, earlier this year after a long, debilitating illness. Bob, as crotchety as he liked to seem, always invited BC over to swing on his old swing and play in his backyard. He was truly a kind-hearted guy masquerading as a tough old career Navy man. eventually, we made it to Hattie's door. Hattie was gracious as ever, offering BC (and Jools, who was more interested in ringing her doorbell incessantly) tons of chocolate.

"Miss Hattie," BC said, "i miss Bob. i remember swinging in the swing with him."

i thought Hattie was going to tear up. but, as a woman who i suspect had to be a very tough military wife in her day, she steeled herself. "you know, i miss Bob, too," she replied. "thank you for saying that, dear."

as she hugged BC, she added, "you know, i didn't really decorate much this year for halloween." her daughter, who lives across the street, told me that hattie didn't have the heart to decorate this year, her first halloween without Bob for like 50 some-odd years. but no matter.

without missing a beat, BC replied, "but Miss Hattie -- you have your broom on the porch! that's a good decoration."

"why yes, it is, dear, yes it is." Hattie chuckled, momentarily moved from her memory of loss.

"and Miss Hattie," she added, "you have a great big spiderweb on your light. that's good for halloween, too!"

under normal circumstances, i would be mortified that my daughter would note something like that. i mean, the lady must be pushing 80 at least, so i imagine that cleaning cobwebs isn't high on her to-do list. but when i saw Miss Hattie break into a smile, i could have squeezed my daughter from here to next halloween.

good save, bunnygirl.
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life is unfair [Oct. 22nd, 2004|07:39 pm]
renaissance chick
two weeks ago, my kids had fifth disease. this week, my kids had hand, foot and mouth.

now, i have 102.7F and feel like crap. i attended a meeting by phone this morning because i felt like i was once again the human impediment if i didn't. i hope i made sense.

but i have no sick leave. i have no annual leave. i have no mommy leave. i have to laugh because i have a friend who feels very indignant about the fact that her annual leave has been eaten up by family crises. like annual leave should only be for fun days off. i wish i could scream into her ear -- annual leave is for the days when you must take time off. if it means its glorified sick leave, then so be it. her sense of divine entitlement shakes me to the core.

here's hoping i start to sweat soon.
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